My husband and I absolutely love our new home in Philadelphia. An adorable row home on a great street that is rumored to have impromptu block parties during the summer. The minute we walked in the door while searching for for a place to rent, I was sold. The living room has an exposed brick wall and that was good enough for me to start babbling about how much we could pay for rent rather than playing it cool like my husband had hoped I would have.
However, recently, the house turned on me. It was late one night and I had just come home from a girls night out. Sure, I had a drink or two in me, but I still blame the house. I was wearing very slippery socks and as I came down the wooden stairs one last time before bed, my feet slipped right out from under me and WHAM! I landed on three steps sequentially with one butt cheek and my two elbows. My breath was torn from my lungs and I began to cry with the screaming pain I felt. The next two nights of sleep were fitful as I woke up each time I rolled over, past one or all of the bruises that had quickly formed. The one on my right butt cheek formed a black replica of England and took almost two weeks to fade.
Finally, I was healed, the man in the moon had disappeared fully, and I was once again able to sleep through the night. Apparently, this was not to be. My husband and I were emptying out the storage space for our old place in Maryland last weekend and this time I had to brave a set of tile stairs. These stairs were not fond of me either. It had rained the previous evening and my shoes were slippery. Had I learned my lesson though? It turns out I had not. I hit the bottom step with the arch of my damp shoe and SLLLIPPP! Out went my foot and WHAMAGAIN! went my bottom. Only this time I hit the other butt cheek. I was angry instead of crying so much as a result of this fall. I couldn't believe I had done it again! So here I suffer a map of Indonesia on my left butt cheek.
My main concern at this point is the age old things-come-in-threes truth. I have found this to be true many times in my life and here I sit on my second bruise. I imagine in the next couple of weeks I will fall once again on a set of stairs..only this time I will go right for the middle and nail my tail bone. OUCH.